


There's a Bad Moon on the Rise

by imagineyou (jokerindisguise), jokerindisguise



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: And a Hint of Bev/Bill, Background Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak, Canon Divergence, F/M, Minor Character Death, Reader Insert, Slow Burn, There Will be Reddie, Violence, pennywise - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:14:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27688112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jokerindisguise/pseuds/imagineyou, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jokerindisguise/pseuds/jokerindisguise
Summary: You're Richie's twin sister and a member of the Losers' Club. When the other members all pack up and leave town, you elect to stay behind with Mike to wait for It to come back. After 27 years pass and Pennywise returns, will you and the other Losers be able to finally defeat him?
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Reader, Richie Tozier & Reader
Comments: 13
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for over a year, but I didn't start seriously working on it until this week. It's finished and over 16k, so I'm splitting it up into three parts. If you enjoy this, then letting me know would make my day! 💖  
> Some dialogue was borrowed from IT: Chapter Two.

The summer of 1989 was one of the most terrifying and exhilarating times of your life. 

Growing up, all you really had was your twin brother, and by extension, his group of friends. The girls at school never gave you the time of day, which was the way you preferred it, and most of the guys were completely disgusting. 

By the time school let out in June of '89, your only plans involved hanging out with Richie and his friends while avoiding Henry Bowers and his gang if at all possible. 

Of course, you didn't count on Pennywise. 

The Losers’ Club rose and fell that summer all thanks to the clown who seemed hellbent on traumatizing you all for life. 

You were used to the little group that consisted of you, Richie, Eddie, Stan, and Bill. You had grown used to their antics and usually had to be the first to talk them out of their more dangerous plans. Most days, they drove you absolutely crazy. You figured that was probably par for the course since you were the only girl among a group of boys. 

Surprisingly enough, you got along with all of them. Richie was your twin and the person who knew you best. Out of anyone else in the world, you knew that if you had to, you would die for him. He could be a bit of a jackass, but he loved you in his own way. 

Eddie was the worrier of the group. He was always the first to voice a concern, no matter how outlandish it might seem. You spent half your time with Eddie reassuring him that he was fine and the other half trying to get him out of his own head so he would actually enjoy his time with the group. 

Stan was the other much-needed voice of reason for the group. Both of you had to work overtime to keep the others out of trouble and ended up bonding because of it. When you were just a little too done with the others, you looked to Stan to pick up where you left off. Richie liked to joke that maybe you were misplaced at birth and actually Stan's twin since you two were so alike at times. 

And then there was Bill. He seemed to be the unofficial leader of the group, because everyone always turned to him for a plan. He was sweet and despite the tragedy he went through with Georgie, he always wanted to help. 

He was also the one in the group that you had a giant crush on. 

Crushing on one of your brother's best friends was inconvenient at best. Mostly, you were sure Bill only saw you as his best friend's sister and left it at that. At the very least, even if you wished he saw you as more, you could still always count on Bill to have your back. 

So, while you were more than happy with the friends you had because of Richie, you couldn’t help but wonder if your little group would ever grow. 

Fortunately, that summer, three more kids joined The Losers' Club. 

Ben Hanscom, or Ben Handsome as you liked to call him, literally dropped right into your lives. He was shy and sweet and you found yourself gravitating towards him as time went on. He seemed to have a doomed crush on Beverly while you were totally miserable over your feelings for Bill. You spent many moments with Ben, both of you commiserating over the wreck that was your love lives. 

After Ben joined the group, Beverly Marsh was soon to follow. She was funny and fierce and fearless. You couldn't help but admire the way she absolutely took no shit from any of the others and even managed to fit in with the group of misfits that made up The Losers' Club. 

Mike Hanlon seemed to be the final piece of the puzzle you didn't even realize was missing until the infamous rock war against Henry Bowers and his gang. To your surprise, you and the other Losers managed to win, and it seemed the prize was Mike Hanlon. He was studious and calm in a way that leveled out the group. You were grateful for his presence when he joined, because he soon became your only anchor in the whirlwind that was soon to overtake your life. 

You were glad for the friends you made that summer. Without them, you weren't sure if all of you would have survived. Pennywise would have come after one or all of you and without the others, you might not have made it. 

Storming Neibolt House the first time was only the first fracture you experienced as a group, though. After Eddie broke his arm and everyone went their separate ways, you were scared about what it would do to you. As a group, you all stood a chance against Pennywise. But alone with only your brother to fall back on? You couldn't help but think that it would be oh-so-easy for Pennywise to take his revenge on you all. 

You spent most nights terrified out of your mind that the shadows on the wall spelled your doom. The near-constant fear seemed to only help you bond with Richie more. You spent most nights in his bedroom, staying up until all hours of the night, and doing your best to not flinch at any and every strange noise. 

You watched Richie slowly fall apart without the other Losers. You knew there was one in particular he was missing the most, but you didn't push him to talk about his feelings for Eddie. Derry in '89 wasn't the most welcoming place for what Richie was going through and Henry Bowers and his bigotry in no way made it better. All you could do was let Richie know you loved him and accepted him no matter what and he seemed to take solace in that. 

The group didn't reunite until Beverly was taken by Pennywise. 

Going back to Neibolt House to confront Pennywise felt like the most idiotic decision you had ever made, but it was your only choice if you wanted Beverly back. You were so terrified that she would be dead like the other missing kids, and even though you tried not to let fear rule your movements, it was hard not to jump at every shadow or errant noise down in the tunnels. 

In the heat of the battle against Pennywise, when he flashed his several rows of sharp teeth your way, you almost hesitated. You could easily imagine those teeth tearing through your flesh and ripping you apart. It was Bill's voice urging you to swing at Pennywise that had you using the piece of wood in your hand to attempt to hurt Pennywise. 

By the time Pennywise had managed to escape, you were exhausted. Stan was hurt. Beverly was acting odd. Bill had broken down after having to essentially kill Pennywise's borrowed form of Georgie. The rest of you were still shaken and terrified, but everything you suffered through only seemed to work in your favor afterwards. The group came back together and you couldn't help but think that you felt invincible. If you could go up against a murderous clown with your best friends, then there was absolutely nothing you couldn't do. 

Despite everything you all went through and achieved that summer, it wasn't long before the group broke apart again. By the end of that summer, The Losers lost a member. It was a trend that would continue over the next few years until there were only two left in Derry. 

Beverly was the first to leave. She promised to write, but something weird happened. Once Beverly left Derry, you didn't hear from her. You could tell it worried Bill and the others, but a part of you wondered if it wasn't for the best after everything Beverly had endured in Derry. If you could, you would have wanted to cut ties with the town as well. Although, you hated that she also seemed to be cutting ties with The Losers’ Club. 

After Beverly, Ben's family left. And then Bill. And then Stan. 

By the time it was only you, Richie, Mike, and Eddie, you started to wonder what the future held for all of you. You started to wonder if they were ever coming back. 

Eddie and Richie planned on leaving for college, but you had known that you were going to hang back in Derry. You were going to stay with Mike and wait for It to return. 

It was something both of you had decided on and while Mike insisted he would be fine on his own, you knew that it would be a very lonely existence to spend twenty-seven years in Derry just waiting for Pennywise to resurface. You knew that Mike would need someone to help him through the worst of it and while you knew it didn't have to fall to you, you also didn't notice anyone else sacrificing themselves. 

It didn't make it any easier to say goodbye to Richie and Eddie once they finally left. 

"Are you sure you don't want to get out of this shithole?" Richie was watching you as if he had half a mind to just shove you in his car and drive as far away as he could. "You don't have to stay." 

"Yeah," you told him with a sad smile. "I kind of do." 

"Well, I'll call," he assured you with a pat to your shoulder. 

"Sure," you agreed. He wouldn't. He would forget. You were sure that was what happened when you left Derry. You just forgot. Forgot the town. Forgot the life you led there. Forgot everything. 

If you forgot Pennywise, then how would you ever know to come back and try to finish the job? No, you would stay in the cursed town with Mike and wait. That was all you could really do. 

You watched Richie go with a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. 

It wasn't so terrible at first. Pennywise wasn't around to terrorize the residents of Derry or making meals out of fearful children, so a sleepy contentment settled over the town. It was peaceful, but incredibly boring. 

Mike managed to secure a job at Derry Public Library while you started working the check-in desk at The Derry Townhouse. 

You found that even with Mike's company, you still felt incredibly lonely. You found yourself flipping through photo albums and wishing that Richie would call. You wanted to hear how Beverly was doing and if Bill was working on a new book. You wanted to ask Richie if he ever made a move on Eddie or if they went their separate ways. You wanted to see how Stan was doing and if Ben was making a name for himself as a renowned architect. 

You never did, though. If the others didn't remember Derry, then maybe it was for the best. 

You usually spent most nights having dinner with Mike. He was doing his best to research Derry's history and figure out Pennywise's origins. He figured if he could just figure out one weakness, then it would give you all a fighting chance when Pennywise inevitably came back to wreak havoc on Derry. 

Despite how much you hated it, time wore on. Some years seemed to drag on while others flew by. It seemed like you were bringing Mike a sandwich at Derry Public Library when he mentioned forgetting his lunch at home in 2009 and then suddenly it was 2015 and you were starting to see Christmas decorations appear around town. 

You were at the library one night in mid-December, waiting for Mike to finish shelving returns so you could eat dinner together. It was your turn to cook, so you were planning on making spaghetti and meatballs. Mike had already mentioned the leftover birthday cake in the staff breakroom that was up for grabs, so you were hoping to have some for dessert. 

You were sitting at the front desk, scrolling through a news article about Richie adding more dates to his US tour, and trying to distract yourself from your growling stomach. You felt a strange mix of grief and pride as you read the article. You were so proud of your brother, but you mourned the years you missed watching him grow in his career and as a person. There was an ache you got every time you checked up on the other Losers, but it was especially fierce when you came across any news about Richie. It seemed unnatural to have to go without your twin for nearly twenty-seven years and some days you didn't know if you could stand it anymore. 

"You know what's coming, don't you? You know what has to happen?" 

You startled at the sound of Mike's voice coming from just behind you. He was reading the article over your shoulder, a sad smile on his face when he looked to you. 

You bit your lip before nodding your head. "They have to come back. They have to help us." 

Over the years, you had both talked over the possibility that Pennywise would be back numerous times. You half-hoped the evil fucker wouldn't dare show his face as long as there were any Losers left in Derry to protect it, but you knew better. Your luck had always been rotten and it wouldn't be long before the murders and reports of missing people started featuring in the news again. 

You had spent so much of your time with Mike trying to convince him that you didn't need to involve the others. Two was always better than none, and while you wanted to see your brother and friends again, you didn't want to risk their lives. Mike was adamant that they all had to come back, though. He insisted it wouldn't work otherwise. 

Mike was incredibly vague about what he meant by that. You knew there was something he was hiding from you. It had to do with the research he had carefully hidden from you, prompting you to believe that there was something heading your way that was likely to kill you all. You hated that after all these years together, he still didn't fully trust you. He had only ever asked that _you_ trust _him_. He claimed that whatever he had discovered was the ace in the hole you needed to defeat Pennywise. 

You felt a sinking feeling in your gut with each day that passed during the year of 2016. You weren't sure when Pennywise would resurface, but you instinctively knew he would reappear during the summer. It only seemed fitting that the summer of 1989 started this strange and horrifying journey, so why shouldn't it be the summer of 2016 that would end it for good? 

You thought it was morbid that you found yourself thinking that either you would die and Pennywise would continue his reign of terror, or you would somehow live and defeat him. With each passing day, Mike's confidence seemed to be infectious. You caught yourself thinking wistfully of a future away from Derry. You weren't sure where you would go or what you would do, but after so long spent trapped in the tiny town, all you knew was that you wanted _out_. 

Even though you seemed to always be waiting for his return, Pennywise still managed to catch you by surprise. You were going over the books for the Townhouse, having managed to successfully buy it from the owner in 2014 when he decided he wanted to leave Derry, and bemoaning your choice to become a business owner, when the phone rang. You absently reached out to grab the receiver, frowning down at the numbers that you were sure had to be complete bullshit. 

"Derry Townhouse," you muttered into the phone. "How can I help you?" 

"He's back," Mike said, his words immediately sending a chill down your spine. "I need you to meet me right now." 

You weren't really sure how you got from being on the phone with Mike to standing at his side, both of you struck speechless by the bloody message Pennywise had left behind for you to find. 

"Come home," you muttered, feeling fear begin to settle deep within your gut. You tried to fight it off, knowing that was exactly the reaction Pennywise was looking for from you, but you couldn’t help it. 

Mike sucked in a deep breath, as if steeling himself, before he put an arm around your shoulders. "Let's go back to the library," he suggested with a weight to his words that let you know what was coming. 

Mike volunteered to make the calls. He seemed a lot more level-headed about what had to happen than you did. You felt like you were sentencing everyone you loved to die. You didn't know how Mike was able to stomach calling each and every former Loser and reminding them of the oath they had sworn in 1989. 

Mike had always been resolute in doing what it took to survive, though. Trapping himself in Derry for twenty-seven years, with the memories and ghosts and fear, was more than enough proof of that. 

When the last phone call was finished, Mike turned to offer you a grimace. 

"I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens now. But I think they'll show up. They have to," he added with a tone that told you he didn't fully believe that. "Do you have any open rooms at the Townhouse?" 

You couldn't help but bark out a surprised laugh. "Business isn't exactly booming," you offered when Mike shot you a confused look. "I can house the Losers." 

"Then all we have left to do is wait," Mike added with a wry twist to his lips that told you what he was thinking. 

You had both done nothing but wait for the last twenty-seven years. 

It was later that night, after you managed to drag yourself back home, when you got a phone call from a number you didn't recognize. 

"Hello?" 

"How the fuck did I forget I have a sister?" 

You laughed, a smile on your face. "That's the magic of Derry," you said. "Hey, Richie. I've missed you." 

"I think I've missed you too. Fuck," he hissed. "This is so fucking weird. I can remember Mom and Dad, but not you. How the fuck is that fair?" 

"Mom and Dad eventually left. I never did." There was a heavy silence left on the line that made you mourn the easy communication you used to share with Richie. "How did you end up with my number?" 

"When I stopped freaking the fuck out, I called Mike back and asked him for it. It's funny," he mused with a tone that suggested it was anything but funny to him. "I always felt like there was something missing, but I couldn't figure it out. Like there was someone there who should have been. I guess it was you," he offered with a sigh. "So, hey, you know I'm famous now?" 

You felt a genuine smile break out on your face as Richie launched into telling you a story about an afterparty he once attended that resulted in him getting so wasted he accidentally threw up all over a former Spice Girl. 

Later, as you were settling down in bed, you couldn't quite fight off the anxiety that had taken hold of you. If Richie came back to Derry, then Richie would have to fight Pennywise. You couldn't quite justify the idea of making your brother relive some of his worst memories, but you knew that it had to happen. If you believed Mike, and you did, then it would have to be all of you. It didn’t mean you had to like it, though. 

You reached over to turn off the lamp on your nightstand, plunging your room into darkness. 

Moonlight peeked around your bedroom curtains, lending you enough light to just see the outline of the other pieces of furniture in your room. You started to close your eyes, but you caught sight of something that looked out of place. 

There was a figure standing just near the foot of your bed. You felt your breath hitch, a familiar thrill of terror coursing through you when the figure seemed to take a step closer. You heard a wheezing, rattling breath as a hand reached out to rest on the edge of the bed. 

You gasped out a choked breath before you made yourself move, quickly turning on the lamp again. When you looked to the end of your bed to see that there wasn't actually anyone there, you let out a relieved breath. It had seemed so real and with Pennywise back, you couldn't help but wonder if this was It's doing. 

You felt like a child when you left the lamp on, only managing to doze off every once in a while, before jerking back awake to hastily check and make sure no one was standing at the end of your bed. 

You remembered the sleepless nights you suffered in ‘89 because of the same brand of fear you felt that night. There were nights when you swore there was someone else in your room while you were trying to sleep. Whether it was Pennywise’s demented giggle jolting you out of sleep or the feeling of fingers drifting over your ankle accompanied by the sound of a rasping, wheezing breath. You weren’t sure you actually got a full night of sleep that summer and you worried you were in store for the same now that Pennywise was around yet again. 

You spent the next day booking rooms for the other members of the Losers’ Club and counting down the hours until you were all supposed to meet for dinner. You felt a nervous excitement at the idea of finally seeing everyone again. You weren't really sure how everyone would react to remembering Pennywise and the summer of 1989, but you were nearly relieved that it wouldn’t just be you and Mike any longer. It felt like you had been carrying around a terrible secret for years and now the burden would finally be lifted just the slightest bit from your shoulders. 

When you got to Jade of the Orient, you had to sit in your car for a few moments and take deep breaths. You weren't sure why you were so nervous, but you couldn't help but fear that the group dinner was going to be disastrous. You didn't know how much the others remembered, but you were sure once the full effect of Derry began to hit them, it wasn't going to be pretty. 

As you walked up to the restaurant, you noticed a man and a woman standing near the entrance. You felt a smile break out at the sight of the red hair on the woman. You knew instinctively who she was as you got closer. 

"Beverly?" You couldn't help but ask as you considered her. 

Beverly turned to look at you, her eyes narrowing for a split second as she attempted to recognize you, before her eyes went wide. "Y/N?" 

"Yeah," you confirmed with a nod of your head as you moved to pull her into a hug. 

"God, it's been so long," Beverly said as she pulled back. You noticed her look at the guy standing just behind her before she glanced back to you. "Ben," she mouthed with a tilt of her head, silently clueing you in to the man's identity. 

"Ben Handsome," you started as you took a step away from Beverly. "Is that you?" 

You noticed a blush spread across his cheeks before he ducked his head, suddenly sheepish. It was a gesture you recognized from childhood and you couldn't help but let out a pleased laugh as you moved to tug him into a hug as well. 

"It's good to see you, Y/N," he murmured in your ear. 

You pulled back and let yourself fully consider Ben. You couldn't help but think that he _was_ remarkably handsome and you felt yourself blush when your eyes met his. His hands were on your shoulders and even though it was well past the moment when you should have stepped away, you felt nearly transfixed by him. 

You were struggling to think of something to say, not sure if the moment was turning awkward or oddly heated, when you were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. 

You glanced over to see Richie standing just a few feet away. "Well, you all look amazing," he observed as he studied you, Beverly, and Ben. "What the fuck happened to me?" He wondered with a self-deprecating tilt to his lips. 

"Richie," you couldn't help but say as you practically flung yourself at your brother. 

"Hey, Y/N," he said with a delighted chuckle before he brought his arms up to embrace you. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" 

"Too long," you agreed with a sigh as you pulled away from him. You stepped back so he could have his own little reunions with Bev and Ben as well. 

"So, were you guys going to stand out here all night or are we going to get on with this impromptu Losers' Club meeting?" Richie asked after hugging Beverly and shaking hands with Ben. "You three looked kind of cozy out here," he added with a raised eyebrow in your direction. 

You shook your head and turned towards the entrance to the restaurant. "Beep beep, Richie," you muttered before you pulled the door open and stepped inside. 

Reuniting with Bill and Eddie felt just as bizarre and surreal as seeing Richie, Beverly, and Ben again for the first time. Your eyes kept seeking out the empty chair at the table, however. You wondered where Stan was, but like with every meeting of the Losers' Club, it quickly turned loud and chaotic. 

Richie couldn't help but poke fun at Eddie and while you were onto him, it felt like you were able to breathe again after years of suffocating within Derry's walls. You had felt trapped for so long that you forgot what it was like to have almost everyone back with you again. You listened to everyone catch up, your eyes seeking out Bill from time to time. You could still feel the remnants of your childhood infatuation and a part of you wondered if you would ever be over him. You kept glancing to where a wedding band had recently resided on his left hand, surreptitiously reminding yourself that while Bill was recently divorced, it was unlikely that he would ever feel anything for you. 

You focused on the little things that made you feel at peace for the first time in years. Mike's small, proud grin as he listened to Bill talk about his new book and the way Richie kept glancing at Eddie, as if he couldn't believe they were in the same room again. You also saw the spark of interest in Richie's eyes once Eddie mentioned he was separated and well on his way to a divorce. 

You noticed the soft, private grins Beverly shot Bill and the way Ben kept watching Beverly with a reverence that told you his childhood crush was still in effect as well. You let their laughter wash over you as you ate and drank, your thoughts turning to Stan more and more often as the evening wore on and he failed to appear. 

"So, Y/N," Ben started as he leaned forward in his seat, focusing on you. "What have you been doing all these years?" You knew he was trying to deflect after Richie had embarrassed him by calling him hot, so you decided to have mercy on him. 

"I, uh," you started before taking a sip of your drink. "I've been running Derry Townhouse for the past few years." 

"You own that shithole?" Richie asked with incredulity in his tone. 

You rolled your eyes before reaching across Beverly to pinch Richie's arm. "Yes," you answered. "And since you're all staying there for free, I'd like a little more gratitude." 

"Thanks, Y/N," you heard Ben pipe up before the rest of the Losers toasted to you. 

You had fooled yourself into thinking it might be a nice, uneventful reunion, but you should have known better. Pennywise had to take the first shot at the Losers' Club through the most disturbing and grotesque display. 

The Pennywise bomb had just been dropped on the rest of the Losers right before the fortune cookies were dropped off at your table. Mike had reminded them of the oath they had all sworn and while Richie had attempted to lighten the mood a bit, you knew that everyone was well on their way to freaking out. 

Once Eddie pointed out that his fortune was just one word printed on the small slip of paper, you realized that none of your fortune cookies actually contained a typical fortune. 

After you deciphered the message from the fortune cookies, an ominous warning about Stan's fate that read 'I Guess Stanley Could Not Cut It,' chaos erupted from the bowl of unopened fortune cookies in the middle of the table. 

You barely had time to process the fact that you were all being attacked by nightmarish monstrosities when you felt a hand wrap around your bicep, quickly pulling you away from the table. You looked over to see Mike, his eyes wide and frightened, as if he too had allowed himself to forget for a moment why you had been forced to call the Losers back to Derry. 

It wasn't long before there were horrifying creatures flying about the room, knocking into the light fixtures and diving towards you all. 

You heard Eddie scream and glanced over to see Ben trying to shield Eddie from something attempting take a bite out of him. Richie yelled Eddie's name, concern and fear clear in his voice. You only had a moment to make sure your brother was safe before something big and terrifying and screeching flew right into you. 

"Fuck!" You blurted as you tried to ward off whatever was trying to sink its talons into your forearm. 

You felt an arm around your waist before someone spun you away from the threat. You were suddenly facing the wall while someone stood at your back, shouting as they tried to face the creature that was just attacking you. You were panting for breath, not sure if it was out of fear or the adrenaline crashing over you, as you turned to see it was Bill who had saved you. 

"Y/N! You okay?" You heard Richie ask, but you didn't get much of a chance to respond before Mike picked up a chair and began to smash it over the middle of the table in an attempt to destroy the rest of the fortune cookies, insisting that what you were all seeing wasn't actually real. 

You were all more than a little jumpy as you finally gathered outside Jade of the Orient. After the hilariously inappropriate way Richie had yelled at a kid, forgetting for a moment a line from his own comedy routine, you were more than ready to crawl into bed and forget everything. 

You didn't even realize that Beverly was trying to get in touch with Stan, because you were so distracted by the way everyone else was freaking out. Richie and Eddie were yelling at Mike for lying to everyone by conveniently forgetting to mention Pennywise when he called everyone home while Ben and Bill seemed to be silently trying to process everything that had just happened. 

Mike was doing his best to keep everyone from skipping town when Beverly turned to face the rest of you, her phone held to her ear. She quickly put the call on speaker, allowing all of you to hear who was on the other line. 

It wasn't until you heard Stan's wife confirm that Stan was dead that you realized all of your worst fears were coming true. The Losers' Club hadn't even had an opportunity to really face Pennywise and one of you was already gone. 

You were barely aware of the fact that you were struggling to breathe. Stan couldn't be dead. Stan was always the shared voice of reason with you and one of the first to try to talk some sense into the Losers’ Club. He was Stan. Steady and dependable and sarcastic as hell. And he was dead. 

"Mike," you called, tears starting to track down your face. "Did we kill Stan?" You whispered as you rounded on him, your breath stuttering in your chest at the thought. "When we called him, did we kill him? Did we do this? Is it our fault?" You could no longer justify calling everyone to ask them to return to Derry. Stan was dead and you couldn’t help but feel like it was all because you weren’t capable of facing Pennywise by yourself. Your fear of getting everyone you loved killed was washing over you and stealing your breath away. 

"Y/N, no," Mike murmured before he moved to pull you into his arms. You only had a moment to rest your head on his shoulder, the tears flowing freely as guilt threatened to overwhelm you, before you were tugged out of Mike's hold. 

"Hey, what the fuck did you do to my sister?" You heard Richie ask as he pulled you into a hug. 

"Yeah, fuckwad, why are you making Y/N cry?" Eddie jumped in. His specific brand of indignation in his tone had you laughing somewhat hysterically into Richie's shoulder. 

"He didn't do anything," you assured them as you finally managed to calm down. “I’m just upset about Stan.” You knew that what you were feeling in that moment was just going to give Pennywise nightmare fuel against you later. How was he going to twist this to haunt you? You shuddered at the thought before you patted Richie on the shoulder and stepped back. "I'm okay," you managed to say as you reached up to hastily wipe away the tears still tracking down your cheeks. 

You felt someone place a hand on your shoulder and you looked back to see Beverly standing there. You noticed the tears welling in her eyes and the haunted expression on her face and knew that Stan's death was hitting her just as hard. 

"Come on, Y/N," Richie pleaded as he pulled your attention back towards him. "Let's just get the fuck out of this shitty town." 

"I’m not going anywhere, Richie. I live here," you reminded him with a helpless shrug of your shoulders. 

"Well, you're moving," he told you as if it was that easy. He let out an incredulous laugh as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat. He looked like he was trying to resist the urge to reach out and grab your arm, as if he was toying with the idea of dragging you out of Derry if he had to. "I can't believe I let you stay here," he muttered. 

"I had to," you argued with a shake of your head. "I couldn't leave Mike alone all these years." 

Richie snorted before he rolled his eyes. "Just, come on," he insisted as he nodded over towards his car. "You too, Eduardo. Let's go." 

"Yeah, I'm right there with you," Eddie agreed as he made a break for his car. 

"I drove myself here," you reminded Richie when he seemed like he was about to herd you towards his car. 

"Fine. Fuck," Richie sighed as he glanced away. "Meet us at the Townhouse," he conceded before he took off across the parking lot. 

You turned and met Mike's gaze, silently asking what you should do now. 

"I've got him if you've got them," Mike said as he nodded over towards Bill. "There's something I've got to show him. But we'll see you at the Townhouse." 

"Yeah, okay," you allowed with a grimace. 

"Y/N," Mike called before you could fully turn away from him. He pulled you into a hug, letting you rest your weight on him for a moment. 

"It was Stan, Mike," you muttered into his shoulder. " _Stan_." 

"I know," Mike soothed as he pulled you closer for a brief moment. "We're going to kill It this time. We'll make It pay. But we can't do that if the rest of us don't band together." 

"Yeah," you sighed, understanding what he was telling you to do. You had to go to the Townhouse and make sure none of the Losers were trying to skip town. 

"Y/N," Mike called again just as you were reaching your car. "Thanks," he said when you turned to look at him. "I really couldn't imagine doing any of this without you." 

You offered him a weak smile and a nod before you got behind the wheel of your car. 

If you cried all the way to the Townhouse, mourning Stan and wishing that you could go back in time and stop Mike from calling him, then no one had to know but you.


	2. Chapter 2

When you got to the Townhouse, you were unsurprised to see that Eddie was practically ready to run out the door and Richie wasn't far behind him. But both seemed to have been brought up short by whatever was going on with Beverly and Ben in the Townhouse's lounge. 

You stopped just in the doorway, trading an uncertain look with Richie, before you focused on what they were talking about. 

When you realized that Beverly had somehow known the details of Stan's death, you started to wonder what else you were missing. 

It wasn't until Bill and Mike arrived and it was revealed that Beverly had seen all of your deaths thanks to her time caught in the deadlights in ‘89 that everyone started to realize there was no fleeing Derry this time. Either you all stayed and killed Pennywise once and for all or none of you would even make it another twenty-seven years to try again. 

You were all cursed and doomed to die horrible deaths if Pennywise lived. It seemed your only options were to stay and fight or flee and die. 

"Well," you started as you glanced at Mike. "I've waited twenty-seven years in this shitty little town for this moment. I'm in," you told the group with a resolve you mostly felt out of a need for revenge. Revenge for Stan and revenge for the lost years of your life you would never get back. Revenge for the nightmares and incessant fear that had haunted you since you were a child and revenge for all of the children who had lost their lives to Pennywise. Revenge for Georgie and revenge for the grief countless families had endured in Derry because of It. 

You met Bill's eyes for a brief moment and noticed he looked just as determined as you felt to finally finish It once and for all. 

Once everyone else had agreed to stick around and try to finish the fight, Mike mentioned a ritual he discovered that would be able to kill It. You couldn't help the frown you aimed at him as he explained the Ritual of Chüd. In all the years you had stuck by Mike's side, he had never once mentioned the ritual to you. From the way he was carefully not meeting your eyes, you knew that it was something he had purposefully done. When Bill seemed to support Mike's words, you were helpless to stop the brief moment of jealousy you felt that Mike would trust Bill with that information but not you. 

As you trailed at the end of the group on the trek across town, you couldn't help wonder if the ritual would work. There was something that didn't quite add up about the bigger picture, but you weren't sure what it was yet. You needed more details and the only person who could fill those in was Mike. 

Going back to the clubhouse was a trip down memory lane you hadn't been aware you needed. You usually avoided the woods, for good reason, but being with the group provided you with the courage you sometimes lacked when you were on your own. 

You enjoyed watching the other members uncover old memories until Richie scared you all with his own impression of Pennywise. 

"Are you going to be like this the whole time we're home?" Eddie wondered as he glared up at Richie. 

Richie rolled his eyes before glancing away. "I was just trying to bring some levity to this shit," he grumbled before he sighed. "Alright, guess I'll go fuck myself, then," he muttered before he ducked under a beam and started rifling through a crate that held a few old comic books and other odds and ends. 

"What are we doing here, Mike?" Bill asked as he glanced up from a shelf full of old trinkets that used to belong to the group. 

"Yeah, not that I'm not loving the nostalgia of all this, but what's the point?" Richie added with a frown. 

"I brought you here because I need you all to remember. If we're going to complete the ritual, then you all need an item. An artifact. Something that's connected to the past and to that summer." Mike explained as he considered everyone in the group. 

"Why?" You couldn't help but wonder as you looked around the clubhouse. "What kind of artifact should we be looking for?" 

"It's different for all of us, but it has to be something personal. The Ritual of Chüd requires a sacrifice and that sacrifice will be your artifact. I brought us all here, because I thought this might be where we find Stan’s artifact.” 

When Eddie pointed out that Bill had already found Stan’s artifact, a shower cap that had been left behind in 1989, you all shared a brief moment of silence as you remembered the thoughtful boy who had insisted wearing the caps would be the only way to prevent spiders from getting in your hair. 

Once you all left the clubhouse, Eddie turned to look at Mike. “So, where should we find our artifacts or tokens or whatever?” 

“It’s different for all of us, which is why we're going to need to split up." 

"Hey, no, fuck that," Richie denied with a quick shake of his head. "Every horror movie ever explains why that's a bad idea." 

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere by myself if I can help it," Eddie was quick to jump in. 

"No, it has to be alone," Mike insisted as he glanced from Richie to Eddie. "There are memories that you have to uncover on your own." 

"What's left?" Richie asked as he squinted at Mike. "We remember everything from that summer already. We joined forces and fought It and suffered through some shit that years of therapy probably won't help. What else is there?" 

"We weren't always together," Mike pointed out as he met your eyes. "There was a point during that summer when we were separated." 

"After Eddie broke his arm," you remembered with a frown. 

"After the fight," Beverly added with a nod. 

"Well, fuck," Richie seethed with a scowl. 

From the way Eddie scoffed, you had a feeling he agreed with the sentiment. 

“You all need to unlock those memories, because that’s how you’re going find your artifacts. Tokens,” Mike amended with a quick look at Eddie. “And once you have them, we’ll all meet up at the library. We can figure out how to proceed from there.” 

Before the group split up, you managed to grab Richie's jacket sleeve to grab his attention. He slowed down until you were walking side-by-side at the edge of the group. 

"You alright?" You couldn't help but wonder as you considered your brother. You hated to admit it, but he seemed like the biggest flight risk at the moment. You knew your brother was brave and reckless, but he also didn't seem completely on board with the plan to defeat Pennywise. 

"Peachy," he assured you with a grin that was a bit too wide and forced to be anything but fake. 

"Richie," you admonished with a tone you hadn't used for years, but clearly told him you weren't going to take any of his bullshit. 

"I just..." he trailed off with a frown. "I didn't ask for this. I was fine. I was touring and famous and making so much fucking money." He huffed out a helpless laugh before he raked his fingers through his hair. "But it was lonely and now I know why. But we're already down one man and any one of us might fucking be next. Why the fuck would I want to stick around for that? Why should any of us?" 

You considered your brother for a few moments before you spoke. "You could leave," you conceded with a nod. "But you'd never forgive yourself if you weren't here and something went horribly wrong. Besides, if we don't defeat Pennywise this time, then we're all dead." 

"Gee, you really know how to console a guy. I can't even imagine why you're still single," Richie muttered before wincing when you reached out to shove him. 

"Fuck off," you grumbled. Your eyes met his and it wasn't long before you were both laughing, falling back into the familiar comradery you had enjoyed all those years ago. 

"Fuck," Richie sighed before he threw an arm around your shoulders. "You know what your token is yet?" 

"Don't laugh," you warned as you bumped into him. You knew exactly what your token would be and while it would hurt to depart with it, you knew that if it meant getting rid of Pennywise, then you would sacrifice just about anything to ensure the safety of the others. You wouldn't lose anyone else. Not after you had already lost Stan. 

You reached into the pocket of your jacket and pulled free the red bit of sponge you usually kept there before placing it on your nose. 

"Holy shit," Richie got out on an incredulous laugh. "You still have that? Why the fuck are you just carrying it around like that?" 

You felt a grin tug at your lips before you pulled off the clown nose Richie had gifted to you during the summer of '89. "It might have been the worst gift idea ever, but it meant a lot to me." 

_You weren't even sure why you were stumbling around the woods near the barrens all by yourself. If anything had become clear since Pennywise appeared in your life, it was that you really shouldn't go anywhere alone._

_You were just so tired of being afraid all the time. Now, with the group split up, you had begun to worry that the search for Georgie had fallen by the wayside. You knew, deep down, that Bill's little brother was probably dead, but you didn't want to give up until_ Bill _gave up._

_So, when you couldn't stand to be inside your house any longer and Richie had ignored your request for his company, you decided to take matters into your own hands. You didn't even really think you would be able to find Georgie, but you couldn't help but hold out a tiny bit of hope that you would still find the kid lost out in the woods._

_You weren't really looking where you were going when you stumbled over a root that had twisted up out of the ground. You flung an arm out, barely catching yourself on the trunk of the tree next to you, before you kicked uselessly at the root._

_When you glanced up, you noticed you were no longer alone._

_"Oh, poor little Y/N, all alone in the woods," Pennywise crooned with a malevolent grin that sent a chill down your spine. "No one wanted to play with you, Y/N?"_

_"Fuck off," you struggled to say as you willed yourself to move. Your feet stayed planted, though. You wanted to turn and run away, but your body wouldn't let you. You were frozen with fear._

_"I'll play with you, Y/N," Pennywise promised as he took one step closer to you. "You'll never be alone as long as your old pal Pennywise is around."_

_All you could think about was Georgie and Betty Ripsom and Eddie Corcoran. Was this the last face they saw before meeting a cruel fate? Did they all fall into their gruesome demise just after seeing that wide, menacing grin and those glowing, yellow eyes?_

_"Time to float," Pennywise said in a deep, guttural voice that seemed to be the catalyst for your feet to finally unstick themselves from the forest floor._

_You turned and made a run for it. You could hear Pennywise's laugh following you as you attempted to flee. Something sharp caught on the back of your shirt and you tripped over another root, sprawling on the ground. You hissed when your palm scraped over tree bark on the way down, but you didn't care. You scrambled to find purchase again with your feet, nearly slipping in your quest to keep running as far and as fast as you could manage._

_"You'll float too," you heard Pennywise promise from just behind you. You could just imagine that he was right on your heels now, his hands always outreached and ready to grab you. "You'll all float," he continued in that same dangerous and lilting tone that never failed to freak you out._

_You were so sure that Pennywise would catch up to you. You thought that you would be a goner. You were sure your body would be found chewed up and bloody or that you would never be found again. But then you saw a glimpse of the road through the trees blocking your path and you hurried towards it, feeling like your chest was going to cave in with every harsh breath you forced past your lips._

_You felt relief when you finally made it out to the road. You weren't sure how you had managed to get so turned around out in the woods, but when you realized that you were even farther out than you normally cared to venture, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with fear at what almost happened to you._

_You didn't allow yourself to stop running until you were home. Your palms were bleeding and while you were trying to cut across a back yard to make your trip shorter, you had managed to skin your knee when you tripped over a kid's tricycle._

_You were exhausted and bleeding and terrified as you finally crashed through the front door of your house. Your parents weren't home, which wasn't much of a surprise, but Richie was sitting on the couch in the living room._

_"What the fuck happened to you?" He asked as he jumped up from the couch and moved towards you._

_You flinched away from him before waving him off and heading for the hallway. "Stupid fuckin' clown," you muttered as you stormed into your room. You grabbed a clean t-shirt and shorts, ignoring Richie calling your name as you locked yourself in the bathroom._

_You were barely aware of the fact that your hands were shaking as you moved to stand in front of the bathroom mirror. All you could see when you closed your eyes was Pennywise and his stupid grin and those fingers that could just as easily turn into claws. You met your eyes in your reflection and forced yourself to take deep breaths._

_You couldn't be scared, you told yourself, because then Pennywise would have won._

_When you finally got yourself to calm down, you stepped into the shower, intent on getting clean and trying to erase every trace of dirt and blood off of you. It felt like if you could just wash it all away, then you could make yourself forget about what happened in the woods. Even though you knew, deep down, that it wasn’t as simple as that._

_By the time you made it back to your room, you had cleaned and bandaged the worst of the cuts you suffered. Now, all you wanted to do was lie down and sleep away the exhaustion you felt._

_Your plans were derailed when you got to your bedroom to see Richie sitting on the edge of your bed and waiting for you._

_"I'm not in the mood," you growled as you brushed past him._

_"Hey, come on," Richie coaxed as he reached out to grab your arm. "What the fuck is going on?"_

_You bit your lip, feeling tears begin to well in your eyes, before you managed to finally look at Richie. "I saw Pennywise," you admitted with a grimace. "He chased me out near the barrens."_

_"Fuck," Richie hissed before he tugged you down to sit next to him. "But you're okay?"_

_"For the most part," you told him before you showed him the scrapes on your palm. "He just scared me more than anything."_

_Richie frowned down at your hand before he glanced back up at you. "We've got to kill that stupid clown," he muttered with a sigh. "Before it gets one of us for good."_

_You knew without him having to say anything that he was thinking of the way that Eddie had broken his arm at Neibolt. He was thinking of his own one-on-one encounter with Pennywise and the Paul Bunyan statue that had suddenly come to life and terrorized him not long ago. You remembered the way Richie's hands wouldn't stop shaking and the way he kept looking over his shoulder, as if he thought Pennywise or the statue would come back to finish the job._

_"He'll be okay," you found yourself telling Richie. "We all will," you quickly amended when you noticed Richie's face grow pale as he looked up at you with wide eyes._

_Richie scoffed before he reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled something out. "I got you a present," he told you before he turned away and placed something on his nose. When he turned back around, you saw an imitation red clown nose fixed onto his. "What do you say, Y/N? Do I look the part?" He asked as he batted his eyelashes at you._

_You couldn't help but snort at your ridiculous brother. "Really? Why the hell would you buy that with everything going on? I thought you hated clowns."_

_Richie shrugged his shoulders before he pulled the fake clown nose off. "I thought it was funny at the time. Wanted to see if you'd get a kick out of it. I thought it might make you laugh." He reached out and placed the red spongey ball on your nose, a pleased smirk on his face. "And I do really fucking hate clowns, but you're my sister, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I'll even kick Bill's ass if he breaks your heart."_

_"So, what? Am I supposed to kick Eddie's?"_

_You noticed Richie wince before he ducked his head. He looked so uncertain in that moment that you couldn't help but feel guilty for making him think that he had to be that way around you. That he thought he had to hide who he really was around you._

_"I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled before he started picking at a loose thread on your comforter._

_"Richie," you whispered before reaching out to wrap your fingers around his wrist. "I know." It didn't take much for you to figure it out. After one night when you were both bored and had decided to play truth or dare, Richie had admitted to having a crush on a friend. It wasn't long before you connected the dots and saw the bigger picture. "I know," you repeated with what you hoped was a reassuring tone._

_Richie was silent for a few worrying moments before he finally met your eyes. "Do you hate me?"_

_"Never," you immediately told him. "You're my brother. My_ twin _. We're in this together, right?"_

_Richie watched you for a moment, as if he thought you were trying to pull one over on him, before a smile slowly stretched across his face. "Right," he agreed with a nod. He reached out and squeezed the clown nose still resting atop yours. "Guess we're both just a couple of clowns, huh?"_

"God, I still can't believe you have that piece of shit," Richie mused as he reached out to take it from you. "It held up really well. I guess the fifteen cents was worth it." 

You rolled your eyes before taking it back from him. "Do you know what you're looking for?" You asked him as you started trailing after the others. 

Richie frowned before you noticed a distant look in his eyes. "Yeah," he muttered with a displeased look on his face. "I've got a good idea about where I need to go." 

It wasn't long before everyone went off in search of their tokens. You managed to stall Mike, needing to have a few words with him before he left to go to the library. 

"What the fuck, Mike?" You hissed when you had him alone. "All these years and you never once mentioned the ritual or tokens or _anything_." 

"Look, Y/N, I'm sorry," Mike started, reaching out to put a hand on your shoulder. "I was worried. There are things that have to come together in order for this to work and I didn't want you to leave me if you knew what it required." 

You studied Mike carefully for a moment, knowing that there was something he was hiding. "What else aren't you telling me? What have you left out?" 

Mike sighed before he glanced away from you. "We just have to do this ritual and then Pennywise will be gone forever. Then we'll be free, Y/N," he said as he met your gaze again. "No more waiting and no more Derry. We can leave and no one else has to die because of It. Not in twenty-seven years or ever again." 

You had so many questions you wanted to ask him. Why did he trust Bill over you? Why was this ritual your only hope? Was it dangerous? Would it kill any of you? If you had to sacrifice a piece of your past, then would you have to sacrifice anything else? 

None of those questions ended up making it out of your mouth, though. "I guess that's something worth fighting for," you admitted with a sigh. 

"It is," he readily agreed before he offered you a tentative smile, as if silently asking if you forgave him for keeping the ritual from you. "Are you coming with me to the library?" 

"No," you answered. "Knowing my brother, he might try to bolt again. I'll wait for him at the Townhouse." 

"Good idea," Mike conceded with a helpless laugh before he nodded at you. "See you later, Y/N." 

You decided to take the more scenic route through town on the walk back to the Townhouse. You weren't really all that eager to get back and deal with everything you didn't really want to face, so you figured you were owed at least a few minutes to yourself. 

You didn't really count on literally running right into Ben just outside the high school. 

"Fuck," you blurted as you bumped into someone and then struggled to regain your footing. 

"Shit. I'm so sorry," you heard someone say as hands wrapped around your waist to steady you. 

You glanced up to see Ben standing close to you, a sheepish smile on his face. "I guess I wasn't looking where I was going," you admitted with a grimace. "Sorry about that." 

"It's fine," Ben quickly assured you. “I wasn’t really looking either.” 

It took you a moment to realize that you were still standing on the sidewalk, remarkably close to Ben, with his hands on your waist. You could feel the heat of his palms through the fabric of your shirt and couldn't help the blush that stained your cheeks. When you glanced up at Ben, you noticed he was blushing too once he finally realized he was still holding onto you. 

"Oh, uh, sorry," Ben got out as he took a few faltering steps away from you. 

"It's okay," you told him with what you hoped was an easy smile. You didn't want to admit that you had forgotten for one moment why you were so scared and ill with worry. You didn't want to admit that maybe your childhood crush on Bill had been traded for something that felt a bit more real with Ben. "Are you okay?" You made yourself ask in an attempt to change the course of the conversation. "You seemed to be in a rush," you pointed out with a raised eyebrow. 

"Oh, yeah," Ben said with a nod. "I was just doing what Mike wanted us to do," he added with a wince. "It didn't exactly bring up the greatest memory." 

"Want to talk about it?" You couldn't help but offer, remembering the days when you and Ben would both bond over your hopeless crushes on other members of the Losers' Club. You remembered the way he pined for Beverly, hoping that she would one day return the affection he felt for her. Unfortunately, your crush and Ben's crush seemed to have a crush on each other. You had spent many moments during your childhood assuring Ben that he deserved the love and attention he so desperately sought from Beverly. 

"Not right now. What about you? Did you find what you needed?" 

"Oh, yeah. I already had it on me," you confessed with a relieved laugh. "Something had to be easy for once, right?" 

"Right," Ben agreed with a grin. "You heading back to the Townhouse?" He asked with a nod down the sidewalk, silently prompting you to start walking in the direction of the inn. 

"Yeah. I don't trust that Richie won't still make a run for it, so I'm willing to go so far as slashing his tires if that's the case." 

Ben let out a surprised laugh before he bumped his arm companionably into yours as you walked. "I bet you missed him, huh? God, I can't even imagine. You and Mike sacrificed so many years of your lives just to make sure we didn't forget to come back." 

"I did miss him, yeah, but I missed all of you. You all became my family that summer. But it wasn't so bad, because I had Mike. He kept me here every time I thought I might want to run as far and as fast as I could to get away from this place." 

"It couldn't have been easy," Ben said as you drew to a stop just outside the Townhouse. "I know the others might not say it, but thanks." 

"For what?" You couldn't help but wonder. 

"For staying. If we do this, kill It, then we won't all die horrible deaths later on. We have you and Mike to thank for that." 

"We still got Stanley killed," you couldn't help but point out. "If Mike had never called him, then maybe he would still be alive." 

"Mike said it only works if we're all together," Ben argued with a shake of his head. "I'd give anything to have Stan here with us, but what happened to him is not your fault and it's not Mike's. You couldn’t have known." 

You weren't really sure how to respond. The guilt that still sat heavily on your shoulders had you convinced that it very much was your fault. You gestured towards the Townhouse with a wry grin. "Want to go see who else has made it back?" 

"Sure," Ben agreed, allowing you to dodge the subject. 

When you got inside, it was to see that Beverly was the only one to have returned. You caught the brief look of longing on Ben's face when he saw her and decided to give him a break. You pretended like you had to check on something upstairs and retreated to an empty room as you tried to ignore the brief flare of jealousy you felt at seeing Ben look at Beverly like _that_. You told yourself that you had to stop having crushes on other Losers as you set about remaking the bed in an attempt to keep busy. 

You weren't really sure how long you were supposed to stay upstairs, but when you heard a door slam down the hall, you left the room to make sure everything was okay. You found Ben rushing up towards the second floor, a determined look on his face. 

"What's going on?" 

"Richie," Ben explained as he nodded towards the closed door of Richie's room. 

"Shit," you hissed before you moved over towards Richie's room. You knocked on the door before opening it and barging into the room. 

"For fuck's sake, Y/N," Richie groaned as he continued to hastily pack his bag. "I could have been naked." 

"You can't leave, Richie," you insisted as you took a step closer to him. "I know it's what you want to do, but you have to stay." 

"I don't have to fucking do anything," he argued as he kept packing. "I'm getting the fuck out of here and if you were smart, you'd come with me." 

"You can't just leave us, Richie," Ben cut in, his brows furrowed. "We need you. Y/N needs you," Ben tried with a grimace, as if he knew he was playing dirty and couldn't really help it. 

Richie shot Ben a glare over his shoulder before his eyes landed on you. He considered you for a moment before he rolled his eyes. "Fuck. Fine." He took a deep breath before he scowled down at his half-packed bag. "Could you two leave? I just need a moment." 

You narrowed your eyes at Richie, sure that he was still intent on leaving, but you felt Ben tug on your arm. "We'll be right downstairs if you need us," he promised with a nod of his head. 

You let Ben lead you out of the room and towards the staircase. "I'm still not convinced he's staying," you muttered to him. 

"We've done what we can for now," Ben reasoned as he took the first few steps down towards the first floor. 

You almost bumped into him when he suddenly froze on the stairs, his breath hitching in surprise. When you chanced a glance over his shoulder, you were shocked to see Bill and Beverly kissing. 

You expected to feel a little jealous that your childhood crush was obviously still not into you, but you realized you didn't feel much of anything except for concern for Ben. You reached down and grabbed his hand, pulling him back up the stairs and into the empty room you had escaped to earlier. 

"I'm sorry you had to see that," you told Ben with a grimace. 

"It's okay," Ben sighed as he dropped down onto the edge of the bed. "I should have seen it coming." 

"I'm sure it didn't mean anything," you tried to console him as you sat down next to him. 

Ben let out a tiny, rueful laugh and shook his head. "You know, I always knew it was a lost cause, but I never wanted to let myself see it. I guess I look pretty foolish, huh?" 

"No," you told him with a firm shake of your head. "You never have." 

Ben's lips quirked up in a self-deprecating grin before his shoulders slumped in what looked a lot like defeat. "The more time I spend here, the more I'm starting to realize that I need to let things go. Not just my childhood fears, but maybe my childhood crush as well. Maybe it’s been holding me back all this time." 

You winced at the thought of Bill kissing Beverly and how that would have absolutely devastated you when you were younger. "Yeah, I'm starting to come to that realization for myself as well." 

Ben glanced to you, confusion clear in his expression, before he seemed to recall your crush on Bill. "Shit, Y/N, I'm sorry. I guess we're both in the same boat." 

"A little," you agreed with a laugh. "But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I've left those feelings in the past. Maybe there was a tiny glimmer of hope when Bill mentioned he was fresh from a divorce, but it was never going to be me. And I'm okay with that. Really," you assured Ben when he shot you a dubious look. “I’m more worried about you right now than myself,” you admitted as you reached out to pat him on the shoulder. 

"You were always there for me, you know," he said with a small, sincere smile on his face. “I remember that now. Remember when I was so upset when Beverly left town? You came to my house and we danced to New Kids until we wanted to puke.” His smile turned fond as he seemed to be thinking about all of the time you spent together as kids. 

You felt a little thrill when you realized he was feeling fond because of _you_. It was followed swiftly with the sinking feeling in your gut at the acknowledgement that Ben still had feelings for Beverly. It seemed like you were destined to always chase the members of the Losers' Club who had crushes on Beverly. 

"Even when I wasn't always there for you," he continued with a frown. "I don't think I would have made it through that summer without you to help get me through it." 

"You would have been fine," you reassured him with a careful grin as you bumped your shoulder into his. "You're Ben Handsome. You can do anything." 

He gifted you with another smile, but you weren't quite sure what this one meant. It was one you weren't used to seeing directed at you and before you could try to figure it out, you were startled by the sound of Eddie yelling and Beverly screaming. 

You jumped up from the bed and rushed from the room to see Eddie fall to his knees just outside his room. He was bleeding from a gash in his cheek, a look of shock on his face when he looked at you and Ben. "Bowers is in my room," he said before he managed to practically collapse down onto the floor. 

Beverly was already kneeling in front of him, taking stock of his wound, while Ben quickly brushed past you and into Eddie's room. 

"Is it bad?" You heard Eddie ask as you followed after Ben, not wanting him to face Henry Bowers alone, especially if Henry was armed. 

You couldn't believe that with everything else going on, you had managed to forget about the childhood bully who had been locked up for the past twenty-seven years. You remembered the whispers around town after it was discovered that Henry had killed his father. He had babbled on and on about a clown and red balloons and you knew that Pennywise was partly to blame. You couldn't help but wonder if Pennywise had freed Henry Bowers from the institution as another way of messing with the Losers' Club. After all, Pennywise and Henry did seem to have a common enemy. 

"He's gone," Ben told you when he realized you had followed him. "Must've jumped out the window." 

"Fuck," you groaned, knowing that Henry was likely going to go after someone else now. None of you were really safe as long as he was wandering around town and armed. "We've got to help Eddie and then we should get to the library. I don’t think that’s the last we’ve seen of Henry." 

When you got back out into the hallway, it was to see Beverly trying to help Eddie stand. 

"Sorry about the blood, Y/N," Eddie said as he let Beverly lead him back into his room. "That's going to be a bitch to get out." 

"It's fine, Eds," you assured him before you moved to leave the room. "I'll be right back," you called before you quickly hurried downstairs in search of a first aid kit. 

It wasn't until after Ben had done his best to patch Eddie up that you realized there was something wrong. Someone was missing from the group. 

"Where's Bill?" You asked with a frown as you glanced to Beverly. "I thought he was here." 

"He left," she admitted with a wince. "He thinks that kid from the restaurant is in trouble. The one who knew your brother? He left before I could stop him." 

When Beverly mentioned your brother, you realized what else was wrong. 

"Oh shit," you groaned. "Where the fuck is Richie?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone showing this love. It really means a lot. 💖 Last chapter will be up Friday.


	3. Chapter 3

It didn't take you long to realize that Richie's bag and Richie's car were both missing. You didn't want to believe your brother would leave you all in the lurch, but all signs pointed to Richie fleeing town. 

You were pacing in the foyer, cursing out your brother, when Ben stalled you by stepping into your path. He put his hands on your shoulders and ducked his head to meet your gaze. "It's going to be okay, Y/N," he promised. "Even if Richie left, it's going to be okay." 

"I can't believe that fucking dickwad just left me like that," you heard Eddie seethe as he descended the stairs. "I mean us," he quickly amended with a pained grimace. 

"Let's just get to the library," Beverly said as she joined the rest of you. "Maybe we'll get lucky and Richie will be there." 

Thankfully, Beverly was right. Richie was at the library with Mike, but your brother had also apparently killed Henry Bowers in an effort to save Mike. 

You listened to Mike explain what happened as he let Ben take care of the cut on his arm. You noticed Eddie and Richie seemingly consoling each other near the card catalogue, an expression of fury on Richie’s face as he considered the bandage on Eddie's cheek. From the way he kept eyeing Henry's body, you were half-sure he was wishing he could kill the deranged man all over again just for harming Eddie. 

"Where's Bill?" You heard Mike ask as he pulled his bandaged arm towards himself. 

"I don't know," Beverly admitted with a sigh. "We should have heard from him by now." 

Mike carefully pulled his cell phone free from the front pocket of his jeans and called Bill. You listened as Mike tried to talk to Bill, his expression growing increasingly worried as he listened to whatever Bill was telling him. 

You had a sinking feeling in your gut that told you whatever Bill was doing now wasn't good. When Mike hung up the phone and confirmed that Bill was about to attempt to kill Pennywise all by himself, you knew that the final battle was fast approaching whether you wanted it to or not. 

Once it was concluded that Bill would be going to Neibolt to confront Pennywise, you all decided to meet him there. 

You were relieved when you got to the house and noticed that Bill had yet to go inside. 

"Hey," you heard Mike call to get Bill's attention. 

"Wh-what are you guys doing here?" Bill asked when he turned to look at the rest of you. "You shouldn't b-be here." 

"We couldn't let you do this alone, Bill," Beverly told him. 

"Yeah, man," you heard Eddie agree. "Losers stick together." 

"But you're all cursed because of me," Bill insisted. "That summer was m-my fault because I made you all go out to the Barrens with me lookin' for Georgie. I can't ask you all to do this." 

"Just face it, Denbrough," you started with a smirk on your face that you hoped was covering up the anxiety you felt coursing through you. "You're stuck with us. It’s all of us or none of us." 

“Is it too late to vote for none of us?” You heard Richie mutter from beside you. You discreetly elbowed him in the side, ignoring his pained grunt. 

Bill looked like he wanted to argue for a moment before he seemed to realize that none of you actually had any intention of letting him storm Neibolt House alone. 

By the time you made it down into the caverns beneath Neibolt, you felt like you had already lived through dozens of nightmares. 

Between trying to help Bill pry the spider disguised as Stan's head off of Richie and listening to Ben's screams coming from rooms away and Beverly getting attacked and nearly drowned, you were starting to wonder if you would ever be allowed to complete the Ritual of Chüd. You were half-sure Pennywise would end up killing you all first. 

As you were throwing your token into the fire, you felt a wary anticipation start to overcome you. If this worked, then Pennywise would be gone forever. If this didn't work, then all of you would die horrible, violent deaths. 

You noticed a brief, sad smile flit across Ben's face before he threw his token into the fire. He glanced first to Beverly before his eyes met yours where you were standing opposite him. He gifted you with a sincere smile before he turned his attention towards where Richie was sacrificing an arcade token. 

You had a moment where you began to wonder if this was even real before you joined hands with Richie and Bill and listened to Mike speak about the ritual. 

As the deadlights descended and you started to chant with the group, you started to let yourself truly believe that this could be the end. If the ritual worked, then Pennywise would be gone. You wanted that more than anything, so you said each word with increasing conviction, hoping it would be enough to put Pennywise away for good. 

"Turn light into dark. Turn light into dark. Turn light into dark," you kept saying over and over, believing that it would be enough. 

It _had_ to be enough. 

Of course it wasn't enough. 

When the ritual quite literally blew up in your faces, you knew that every hope you had of defeating Pennywise was nearly gone. You didn't know if there was anything else that would work, but your only way to survive once he attacked was to run. Pennywise had transformed himself into a giant spider that was big enough to nearly fill the cavern. There was no way you could possibly fight _that_ and hope to survive. 

Mike seemed to be overwhelmed with guilt after Pennywise pressured him to admit that he had left one important detail out of his explanations regarding the ritual. The first and only group to attempt the Ritual of Chüd had all been killed because they couldn’t succeed. Mike had assumed that if you all just believed hard enough, then you would be able to kill It. You heard him apologizing profusely as you dodged a swipe from one of Pennywise’s legs. 

You ended up getting split up from the others. Richie and Eddie disappeared into one cave while Ben and Beverly retreated into another. You were about to bolt after Eddie and Richie, since it seemed like your only possible escape that didn't take you right past the killer clown and spider hybrid, but Pennywise had other plans for you. 

You felt something heavy slam into your back before you went flying. You barely had a moment to pull your arms in close to your body in an attempt to not break them on the rocks before you felt yourself hit the ground hard enough to knock the breath out of you. Your momentum carried you down an opening in the cavern's walls and right through a hole. You felt the odd sensation like you were flying for a moment before you landed on something soft. 

You didn’t even realize that had you closed your eyes during the fall, but once you opened them, you weren't entirely convinced that you were actually awake. 

"No," you whispered when you were met with the sight of your childhood bedroom. You had spent many nights in this room feeling like you were helpless against the lingering shadows on the walls. There were the nights when you swore there was someone standing at the foot of your bed and watching you in the dark. Sometimes the voice belonged to Pennywise and sometimes it was a wheezing, groaning croak that reminded you of every zombie movie you had watched with Richie after he dared you not to get scared. 

You willed yourself to move, but it felt like you were paralyzed with fear. You felt the sheets wrap around your ankles and wrists, anchoring you to the bed. 

"Look what you did to me," you heard a voice rasp from near the foot of the bed. You caught sight of curly hair and torn clothes. A hand reached out towards you, the skin mottled with decay. "You did this to me, Y/N." 

"No," you whispered again, silently pleading with whatever deity was listening to get you out of this. 

"Look at me," Stan snapped as he took a step closer to you, gifting you with a better view of him. 

You closed your eyes and resolutely shook your head. You felt fingers dig into your chin before your head was jerked sharply to the side. 

"Look at me. Look at what you did to me," Stan commanded with a conviction that was strong enough that you almost couldn't help but open your eyes in obedience. "You know what's going to happen to them now. They're going to end up like _me_. And it's all your fault," Stan spat before he offered you a sickly grin that had you attempting to pull your chin out of his hold. 

His nails dug into your skin and you could feel yourself begin to bleed from where he was cutting into your skin. You struggled against your bonds, a panic beginning to overwhelm you. You had felt trapped for years with the certainty that you might be subjecting your loved ones to their final demise and now Pennywise was playing that scenario out for you in the cruelest way possible. 

"No, no, no," you denied as you kept struggling for freedom. "I didn't mean to. I didn't want you to die, Stan," you cried. 

"You did this to me. To us," Stan snarled before he pulled away. He gestured towards the floor where you could make out the sight of several bodies. "You shouldn't have called us here. You've killed us all." 

"NO!" You screamed when the first body pulled itself off the floor. You saw the glasses and dark hair and knew immediately that it must be Richie. You couldn't hold back the sob that fought its way free at the sight of the torn and bloody visage of your brother. His eyes were clouded over and his neck had been torn out. 

It wasn't long before the other members of the Losers' Club rose from the floor and started advancing on you. You could hear their hungry, ravenous moans as their hands all stretched out towards you. You could just imagine what it would feel like as they tore into your flesh and you hurried to free yourself from the bed. You twisted and writhed and finally managed to free one of your hands. 

You could feel nails scraping down your leg and you bit back a cry of pain. You weren't going to give Pennywise the satisfaction of hearing that his torture was working. You could feel blood running from the cuts and pooling onto the bed below you before you finally managed to break free. 

There was a door on the other side of the room that you were desperate to reach, but it would take you right through the undead members of the Losers' Club. 

"Fuck," you hissed, before you decided to try your chances. You bolted over the bed and pushed past the clawing hands and sound of clicking teeth as more than one of the members tried to take a bite out of you. By the time you made it to the door, one of your sleeves had been ripped away and you had deep scratches down your arms and along your torso. You were also pretty sure someone had gotten a lucky bite in, because your shoulder was burning and aching in a way that was nearly enough to distract you from your escape attempt. 

You didn't even bother looking back as you opened the door and fell through it right into the cavern you had left behind what felt like years ago. 

You only had a moment to notice the bright light filling the cave and the sight of Richie caught in the deadlights before you were taking off across the cavern. The image of the reanimated corpses of the Losers' Club was still fresh in your mind as you watched Eddie attempt to save Richie by spearing Pennywise through the head with the broken piece of fence Beverly had picked up earlier that night to use as a weapon. 

You pulled to a stop not far from the pair when you realized that Eddie was exclaiming that he had saved Richie. You were keeping a wary eye on Pennywise, but you still managed to catch sight of Eddie leaning down and kissing Richie. 

You were stunned for a moment, ridiculously happy for your brother and Eddie even if it was the wrong moment to get carried away, before you noticed Pennywise shake off the hit from Eddie. You had a moment to see Pennywise's grin just before he moved to strike. You barely had to think about it as you took off towards the pair, managing to tackle Eddie just before he would have been skewered through his chest with Pennywise's claw. 

You thought for a moment that you had managed to save Eddie without any consequences, but it didn't take long for the searing pain in your shoulder to make itself known. You felt like there was something hooked right beneath your clavicle before you were pulled back and flung across the cavern. You hit the ground with a sharp crack, crying out when you rolled right into the cavern wall. You felt like you had a hole in your shoulder, but that couldn't be right. The blood that was steadily pooling beneath you argued otherwise. 

You realized that you might have saved Eddie, but you sacrificed yourself to do it. 

Your vision went hazy for a moment before you heard someone calling your name. There were hands on you and for a dizzying moment you thought it was the zombified members of the Losers' Club coming back to finish the job. You kicked out at someone before the words began to register. 

"Fucking fuck, Y/N! That was my nose!" Richie yelled as he attempted to help Ben pick you up off the ground. 

"It's okay," you heard Beverly assure you. "You're okay." 

"Don't die, Y/N," Eddie pleaded as he helped the others carry you into a cave where Pennywise wouldn't be able to readily reach you. 

"Eds," you croaked as you struggled to hold onto consciousness. You reached out to grab his hand, holding it as tight as you could. "Worth it," you assured him with a grin that probably looked half-crazed as you did your best to stay awake and aware. 

"Fu-fuck! Fuck!" You heard Bill shout as he joined the others. "That's a lot of blood." 

"Hey, Y/N," Mike whispered. "You need to stay with us. We can't do this without you." 

You felt something press into your shoulder and you couldn't hold back the scream that clawed its way free of your throat. You felt the sharp agony as Ben tried to keep pressure on your wound, having sacrificed his overshirt to try to keep you from bleeding out. 

"Just stay with me, Y/N," you heard Ben murmur. "Don't leave me. Mike's right, you know? We can't do this without you. _I_ can't do this without you. I need you, so you’ve got to stick around." 

You managed to suck in a shuddering, pained breath as you met his eyes. You knew you were fast losing the battle to stay awake and you weren't really sure if you were going to make it out of the cavern. Your blood was quickly soaking Ben’s overshirt and the pain started to recede as an alarming numbness began to overtake you. 

You could hear Pennywise taunting you and the other Losers, but all you could really focus on at that moment was Ben. 

You saw Ben bite his lip, looking unsure for a moment, before he brought his hands up and cupped your face in them. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against yours, prompting you to bring up the arm that currently didn’t feel like it was about to fall off to grab a fistful of his t-shirt and reel him in even closer. He felt like your only anchor to consciousness at that moment and you were reluctant to let him go. 

"Ugh, my sister, man? Seriously? Didn't you have the hots for Bev?" You heard Richie wonder with a tone that warred between disgust and exasperation. 

"Beep beep, Richie," you heard Beverly mutter. 

When you felt like you were struggling to breathe, you carefully pushed Ben away. "I'm sorry, Ben Handsome" you whispered before you felt your eyelids droop. 

"No, Y/N, stay awake," you heard Ben urge. 

"Is she dead? What's going on?" 

"Fuck! This can’t be fucking happening." 

"No, come on, Y/N. Don't do this." 

Awareness stayed with you in little bits and pieces. You could hear Pennywise roaring and the others yelling, but they now sounded far away. You could hear something rumbling before your body began to shake. It took you a really long time to realize that you weren't shaking, but the cave around you was as it started to collapse. There was the unmistakable sound of rocks clattering down to the floor and then more shouting. 

You felt trembling fingers on your neck and others wrapped around your wrist. There were hands under your knees and someone pulling you to stand. You felt weightless for a moment and for one brief, disorienting moment you thought you were flying. 

You felt hands on you again and voices drifting across you, but before you could shout or try to avoid the reach of the undead, you finally allowed the darkness threatening to overwhelm you to fully embrace you. 

You didn't really think you were dead. You still felt and heard and experienced. There were flashing lights that had you wishing you could close your eyes, even though they were already closed. There was the prick of the needle as it slid into your arm and a warm voice talking just above you. 

"We'll have to bring her in for surgery now. I'm sorry, but you have to stay in the waiting room." 

"But that's my sister," you heard Richie exclaim. "What the fuck do you mean I have to stay out here?" 

There was something cold rushing through your veins and a metallic taste in your mouth. There was the drifting awareness and then nothing. 

You jolted awake, your eyes flying open as you attempted to take better stock of your surroundings. 

"Holy shit, you're awake," you heard Richie mumble from your side. You glanced over to see that he was rubbing at his eyes just under the rims of his glasses. He looked exhausted, but there was a delighted, relieved grin on his face that had you automatically smiling back at him in answer. 

You wanted to ask him what the fuck was going on, but he was suddenly out of his chair and striding over towards the door. 

"Hey, guys! She's finally awake!" You heard Richie yell before he was stepping out of your room. 

You barely had a moment to realize you were in a hospital room before the rest of the Losers' Club filed into the room. 

"I'm glad you're okay, Y/N," Bill said as he came to stand beside your bed. 

"Yeah, you had us all really scared for a while there," Beverly chimed in as she reached out for your hand. She squeezed your hand and offered you a reassuring smile. 

"Move," Richie commanded as he brushed past Bill and Beverly. "Don't you ever fucking do that to me again, you got it?” Richie admonished you as he pointed his finger right in your face, as if he was scolding a child and not his twin sister. “I just fucking got you back and I'm not about to let you die because of some stupid, fuckin' clown." 

"Pennywise," you breathed, startled to finally remember the clown that had terrorized you all for so long and the recent events that took place in the caverns beneath Neibolt House. "What happened? Is he dead?" 

"He's dead," Mike confirmed with a nod of his head. You turned your head and met his eyes where he was standing at the foot of your bed. "We did it." 

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Eddie piped up as he moved to stand at Richie's side. You didn't fail to notice the way Richie's hand immediately reached for Eddie's, their fingers lacing together as Eddie crowded further into Richie's side. “I feel like you almost died because of me.” 

"I meant what I said," you told him with a small smile. "It would have been worth it." 

"Y/N," you heard from the doorway of your hospital room. 

You looked over to see Ben standing there, an expression of stark relief clear on his face. 

"Why don't we give them a moment," Beverly suggested as she reached out to start steering Richie and Eddie away. 

"Hey, that's my sister!" Richie protested, before he seemed to relent when Beverly whispered something to him. "I'm watching you," Richie promised Ben before he let himself be led out of the room by the rest of the Losers. 

Ben came to sit down at your bedside once it was just the two of you left in the room. 

"Do you, uh, do you remember anything? From before you passed out?" He wasn't quite meeting your eyes, but there was an awkward shyness that seemed so familiar that you couldn't help but grin at him. 

"I remember trying to save Eddie," you muttered before your brows furrowed as you attempted to remember more. "There was a lot of pain. I think I lost a lot of blood," you said as you frowned down at the bandages you could see covering your shoulder. "I remember you," you confessed with a softer smile as memories became clearer. "And a kiss," you whispered before Ben finally met your gaze. "Did you mean it? Or was it only because I was bleeding out?" 

"I meant it," Ben rushed to reassure you before he hesitantly reached out to take your hand. "I meant it," he whispered as he let his thumb sweep over the back of your hand. "And I have a proposition for you if you're open to it." 

You quirked an eyebrow at him, not able to fight off the smirk you felt tugging at your lips. "While I'm still in a hospital bed? Ben Handsome, I didn't know you were that eager to seduce me." 

You noticed the blush that bloomed on Ben's cheeks before he shot you an amused grin. "Not that kind of proposition," he remarked with a fond expression and shake of his head. "I was thinking about what you'd do now that Pennywise is gone." 

"Oh," you breathed in understanding. You honestly had never thought of what you would do once you were free to leave Derry. All of your plans boiled down to just that. _Leave_. But you didn't know what you would do once you stepped foot outside the town for the first time. "What were you thinking?" 

"I was thinking that I'm overdue for a vacation and you're probably eager to get out of Derry. You've been stuck here for so long and I know you've got to heal and probably some physical therapy, but we can go anywhere you'd like. It's your choice, but if you'll have me, I want to explore the world with you." He took a deep breath, as if steeling himself for a possible rejection. "So, where would you like to go?" 

You were stunned for a moment with the realization that whatever was forming between you and Ben wasn't just going to be relegated to Derry and near-death experiences. Ben was actually serious about this. Serious about _you_. And while it seemed a bit sudden and you were sure there was so much left to discuss, you couldn’t help but feel excited by the idea that he wanted to see you and spend time with you and take you far away from the town that housed all your nightmares. 

You felt a grin slowly stretch across your face before you squeezed his hand. "I've got the perfect idea." 

Later, nearly a week after Pennywise's demise, you joined the other members of the Losers' Club at Jade of the Orient for dinner. You were surprised that you were all allowed back after the property damage from your last dinner, but you were given another private room to hold your meeting of the Losers’ Club. 

This dinner was a complete turnaround from the first one, however. Just a week before, you were all talking about what you had spent the past twenty-seven years doing. It was rife with news of divorce, separation, and uncertainty. It was tainted by the knowledge that Pennywise was back and wreaking havoc on Derry yet again. What should have been a nice reunion was overshadowed by the hauntings of your pasts and the tragedy that was soon to follow. 

Now, you were all looking forward to whatever the future held in store, because you all realized that you actually had a future to experience. There was no more uncertainty and no more monsters to fight. You were allowed to live now without the specter of Pennywise hanging over you all. 

Ben kept a firm grip on your hand through most of the dinner, as if he had to remind himself that you were really there and alive after suffering a near-fatal injury. Richie and Eddie were just as obnoxious as ever, but Eddie had taken it upon himself to kiss Richie whenever he wanted him to shut up. By the stunned and cautiously delighted look on Richie's face every time it happened, he didn't mind. 

Everyone seemed eager to discuss their plans for the next few months. It seemed that Richie still planned to finish out his tour and Eddie was going to go with him. Mike claimed that he wanted to finally check out Florida after being stuck in Maine for so long. Bill said he had a movie to finish and a new book to write. Beverly told you all that now that so much of her past had become clear to her, she wanted to figure out who she really was. She wanted to strike out on her own and learn how to depend on herself, but from the few, brief glances she shared with Bill, you started to wonder if there was more going on there than they had shared with the group. 

By the time you were finished with your food and waiting on the check, you felt lighter than you had in decades. With Ben at your side and the knowledge that Pennywise was no longer a threat, you felt like your future was open to you for the first time in your life. 

You heard Bill clear his throat before he raised his glass. "To the Losers' Club," he said with a fond grin on his face. "To finally defeating Pennywise," he continued with a glance at each of you around the table. "And most important, to Stan," he finished. 

"To Stan," you all joined in, raising your glasses in a toast to your fallen friend, before you all took a drink. 

"To Stan," you repeated with a sad smile as you thought of the friend who should have been sharing this victory with all of you. You wished more than anything that he was there to see the nightmare finally laid to rest. 

But you couldn't help but hope that he knew somehow that you and the Losers' Club hadn't let him down. You had defeated Pennywise once and for all and the townspeople of Derry were finally safe from a threat they weren't even aware of after so many decades of suffering. 

And now, you were finally free to live your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has shown this love. It makes me so happy to know people have enjoyed this. 💖


End file.
